–First in a three part series. Mentor Mama gives you personal grooming advice your friends will never mention…even though they’d like to!
Do you remember trying to slip out of the house in an outfit that you knew your mother would not approve of? For the girls, it was usually a short skirt, a crazy hairdo or too much makeup. For the boys, it was often because they were underdressed, under groomed or over-cologned. My mama, who, of course, had eyes in the back of her head, always caught me red-handed and marched me back inside to put on something guaranteed to embarrass me in front of my friends.
What I realize today, is that I would have embarrassed myself even more had I made it to the party in the outfit I had chosen. Looking back, my mother saved me from more than one fashion disaster or social faux-pas. Had I bothered to listen to her in those days filled with teenage angst, I might have found some fun and fashionable advice. Unbelievably, she had been a teenager, too, and she had walked that treacherous road of fickle girlfriends and hormonal adolescent boys.
As I pursue my career, holed up in my home office staring at a computer screen, I could use my mom to “hassle me” to get out of my pajamas and pull myself together. Sometimes, it is challenging to break away from my Tweetdom for something as mundane as brushing my hair.
As I have pondered this dilemma, I have come to the chilling conclusion that my laziness is sabotaging my marketing efforts. Despite the resistance I put up, I am a woman and a vain woman at that. I would never make a video or shoot a bubble tweet without being fully done-up. Therefore, I often pass up brilliant marketing opportunities. On the other hand, many of the men I know wouldn’t think twice about video Skyping with three days growth of beard and a shabby t-shirt. They are seizing the opportunity, but to what end?
Either way, it should not matter; You don’t think it matters; Your friends tell you it doesn’t matter. Here is Mentor Mama’s brutal truth: IT MATTERS.
An online career is a business where we sell ourselves. You wouldn’t try to sell lotion in a dented bottle with the label peeling off. Much like the lotion, your appearance is your calling card and like it or not, people will make judgments about you based on your appearance. That is not to say that you must have plastic surgery or get a professional makeover. I am middle-aged and overweight. Neither of those issues is easily solved. That does not prevent me, however, from being clean and well-groomed, so that I am at my best to make a last minute video or speak to a new prospect on Skype.
When I tend to myself as diligently as I would tend to someone on my team, I feel vibrant and ready to do business.
Next Week…..Part 2: 5 Critical Grooming Tips for the ManBall* Set
*ManBall is a “Men Only” international sports phenomenon, created by online marketing king Jonathan Budd.
February 4th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Hi Nancy!
I truly appreciate you blogging about this kind of stuff. No one talks about this anywhere. It’s almost like it’s taboo. Hmmmm…I wonder why
But we shouldn’t ignore this simple tip; groom yourself for the sake of your success. Heck Jonathan Budd and Raven K. Starre even shared this super simple secret as being one of the ’13 Secrets to Networking with Billionaires’.
But whether you’re actually working with a millionaire or not is irrelevant to the fact that keeping yourself groomed is a NO-BRAINER!
It’s almost like saying go put some deodorant on. Ewwww…who wants to be near anyone who has B.O.?
Not me that’s for sure!
So I just wanted to say thank you, Mentor Mama, for speaking the truth not only b/c no one talks about it, but because IT MATTERS!
Our mamas we’re right all along:
“You just make your bed neat, remember to stand up straight, eat all your vegetables, put something nice on or else you’re not leaving this house…”
Our Mama was indeed right all along.
BTW, I am soo looking forward to part 2 of your three part series!
Smiles from Guam,
Jaclyn
http://jaclyncastro.com
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February 5th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
I’m guilty
That is some great advice Nancy and I really appreciate you writing about it. I have to find a balance for myself though. I agree that it is important to clean up a bit before sending a video out on the net for all to see (perhaps for generations). On the other hand, I want to be comfortable enough with who I am to actually be who I am.
So, if I happen to be hanging around the house in a t-shirt and I suddenly have a breakthrough idea I want to get out there, I want to feel like I can just let the cameras roll and start providing value without being to concerned with my appearance.
There is a balance to be achieved for me and I thank you for at least reminding me that appearances matter.
Now you’ve got me reconsidering my Gravatar
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February 5th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Thank you for blogging about this very important but little addressed topic. All too often we find every area of our life addressed in seminars, articles, workshops and books with very little focus on our appearance. In these casual times we live in, many people have let it go by the wayside. I for one am distracted by a speaker or presenter that is not well groomed or looking professional. If they can’t take the time to take care of themselves first and present a professional appearance, how am I going to trust what they are saying. It has a huge affect, more than we know.
Eldonna
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February 6th, 2010 at 12:17 am
Hello My Friends! Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment! I’m glad that you can relate! Jackie and Eldonna, we are mamas now, so it is easier to see why our moms were so picky!
Eric, No rule is ever absolute…There will be camping trips, working in the yard, cooking, etc. They might be perfect for a video, but then your appearance will be congruent with the situation. The other night, it was 9:30 PM and I was home in comfy clothes with no makeup and messy hair when you skyped me….I was not going to refuse the call! So you got the REAL me, as opposed to my well coiffed stand-in! LOL!
In this article, I am addressing my own issues and I am addressing people who really have not got a clue. They can be really wonderful people, but they have no idea that their appearance is holding them back. It is always part of a whole package…not just isolated situations.
To all three of you, I love that you took the time to visit me here and give your insightful comments!
Nancy
Mentor Mama
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February 18th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
I love your blog!! Being a mom myself I can relate to it all! I look forward to following you!! Check out my recent post – to get a picture on your comments! It’s my first Jing Project movie!
Linda G Cox´s last blog ..GET the FOCUS on YOU!
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March 4th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
Hi Linda!
Thanks for leaving a comment! I will check out your post for sure! Moms are pretty amazing creatures and even if they drive you crazy, they still have so much wisdom!
Hope you’ll come visit again!
Nancy
“Mentor Mama”
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March 29th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Too funny….while reading your post I immediately flashed back to my mother telling me when my bridal shower would be. Yes, this event is usually clouded by great secrecy in an attempt to surprise the soon to be bride, but Mom was afraid that I would show up wearing something inappropriate (thereby embarrasing her in front of her friends and family, I might add….)!
Now that I’m a bit older and wiser I have learned the value of presenting myself professionally, in a manner that even Mom would be proud of! You’re right, we’re really selling ourselves in every phase of doing business, and the packaging does matter!
Kathy Jodrey´s last blog ..Google Adwords Campaign Management – Former Google Employee Shares Adwords Advice
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April 5th, 2010 at 3:16 am
When I was in college, I remember my mom having this ‘talk’ with me. I had started a summer job and then complained to my mom that no one was taking me seriously. My gosh, they treated me like I was in high school.
Yes, my mom told me that I was still dressing like a kid, and if I wanted others to see me as a professional, mature, college student, I needed to dress the part. I wasn’t happy about ditching the jeans at work, but once I did, I realized my mom was right.
Fast forward to our current video age, when jumping on the camera, anytime, anyplace is fun and spontaneous. I made one video about conservation, tying my son’s baseball games into using refillable water bottles. We both dressed the ‘part’ for that video, but I’m hesitant about making videos unless I look professional.
I appreciate the important reminder on our appearance and how to make a professional and lasting impression on viewers.
Jennifer Akers´s last blog ..Upcoming Author Interviews
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April 23rd, 2010 at 12:41 pm
I Couldn’t agree more. Typically we men are pigs. But a eew of us clean up good
Bill Cowan´s last blog ..Self Help Books to Get You There
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April 25th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Nancy,
Great post, I am always talking to my son about his grooming when he goes out, he just doesn’t seem to care so at times I demand that he does if he’s going to get into my car. As for my daughter she’s a walking fashion statement never and issue. As for myself I have always been aware of the importance of dressing for success and looking the part, although I am now out of corporate world I sometimes find myself slipping.
Looking forward to part two and your tips.
Garth
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May 5th, 2010 at 9:56 am
Excellent post! I had not really thought about the implication of doing videos wearing a T-shirt.
Thanks for sharing, Mama!
Alan
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September 18th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
My dad was so hung up about appearances he made me feel fake whenever I but on that one hundred dollar suit. Why because I considered myself worth more and I still do. If I’m going to wear a suit it’s going to be a Armonte or something of this class.
However looks aside should I really be wearing a suit and a tie when I run two traffic exchanges. There okay it fits. But on a gardening blog my question is does being too clean cut ruin the effect of the blog?
Wondering if a nice shave and a clean dress shirt would do the trick?
Sincerely
Monty Ferbert
PS How do I deal with dress code taste bigger than my pocket book right now.
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Wendy macKay Reply:
November 5th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Great blog and posts here Nancy. As much as none of liked being “nagged” at as children, mom’s and dad’s did it with our best interests at heart. I say dress for the occasion, be clean, tidy, and appropriate for the topic. As per Monty’s comment, if you are gardening dirt under the fingernails and coveralls are part of the get up, lol. If I’m riding my horses, my blue jeans, boots and hoodie may be the get up. I think what Nancy is getting at here is that just because we work from home doesn’t mean we allow ourselves to get lazy with self care. Sitting up with good posture allows your voice better delivery and gives you a feeling of self confidence, so the studies say. Anyway, all good reminders. Thanks Nancy.
Wendy macKay´s last blog ..Business Planning – Part 3
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February 4th, 2011 at 6:06 am
Wow, wow, wow, Mentor Mama. You’ve hit the nail on the head with this post. I know many of us are reluctant to do video because we don’t have a perfect blemish-free appearance. I myself was. I am no longer reluctant to go on video, but I do work on the things I can readily improve, as I share the knowledge and insights that I have.
However, there is absolutely no justification for appearing disheveled and poorly groomed on a video … or looking like you just rolled out of bed. Let’s be professional. We have to be if we want people to take us seriously.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Angela
Angela Arnold´s last blog ..Professional Development- Your Ticket to a Prosperous Future
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